I used to be excited to vote. Just the idea of “having a voice” in my country’s government made me feel grown up. Studying politics–no matter how insubstantial–gave me some sort of pseudo-sophistication that made me seem competent for dinner table discussions. I turned eighteen and could already picture slapping on the “I Voted” sticker while strutting the most patriotic walk home before a bald eagle swept me off of my feet and thanked me for my participation in the democratic process. To me, elections seemed fun; however, I’ve come to realize that quite the opposite is true.
Coming home from school one day I found myself scuffling through some recently delivered mail. Of course, the past months have filled my mailbox to the brim with political advertisements, but one letter in particular caught my eye this day. It read, “Don’t Vote for a Candidate That Has No Chance to Win.” and featured pictures of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump with open boxes ( [ ] ) next to their names. Disappointment came as I noticed the crossed-off boxes ( [X] ) for the following candidates of: Jill Stein, Gary Johnson, Deez Nuts, and #SMOD2016 (Sweet Meteor of Death).
Now take a second to let that soak in. Staring at this ad marked the exact moment in time that my excitement to vote was decimated. I could not find myself able to reconcile any good in a country where an internet meme and/or a celestial projectile of mass extinction would ever need to be printed on actual paper to advise citizens not to actually vote for these “candidates” as the actual president of the United States. My mind turned to scrambled eggs. It’s not as if the ad took a partisan side to say, “Hey, don’t waste your vote here! Vote for Clinton/Trump 2016!” but was instead informative to the fact that these absurd candidates were even less insignificant than Johnson or Stein and voters should beware of their illegitimacy.
However, it’s hard to deny the ironic redundancy of having both an apocalyptic meteor and a sexual innuendo on the same piece of paper as Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.
The election has been all too much for me to handle. As us young voters tried to build a solid foundation for our political beliefs and aspirations, we were dealt the card of a woman who lies easier than I breath, and a man who makes Putin seem like a godsend.
Scandals perpetually worked their way through the campaign process, with more focus being allocated on rhetoric rather than policy. But you’ve heard these complaints all too often. “Clinton’s a criminal liar” and “Trump’s a bigoted racist” have essentially become the slogans of the Democratic and Republican parties.
With just days to go before Election Day, Clinton’s emails have been opened back up for FBI investigation and ties to Anthony Weiner make speculation ever the more interesting. I have high hopes that the former-congressman-turned-pedafile also recieved one of those, “Make Your Voice Count” ads and will make the wise decision to restrain from voting for, “Deez Nuts.”
If the Mayan calendar was redone, I’m sure the days would end at Nov. 8, 2016. Weeks leading up to Election Day would surely be filled with National Geographic documentaries and a Roland Emmerich movie. I just want it all to be over already.